Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God:
I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
For this section entitled “Emotional People” I’m reminded that we each have a free will that God gave us. God gave us a choice. We can follow our feelings, or we can follow our faith and trust Him completely. God’s ways are ALWAYS best!
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue:
and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Lynne shared a devotion that fits PERFECTLY for today so I’m copying it here for all of you to read:
Just a few days before my birthday my husband, James, started saying little comments that were getting under my skin. They weren’t even about getting older, but they still bothered me. We both felt under the weather, and some of his comments (even said jokingly) started to drive me crazy.
I could feel the tension mounting and teased him back. When I was by myself, I simply prayed,“God, change me. My husband is bugging me. Help me not to overreact. Help me communicate to him the things that bother me, and then help me forget about it.”
God answered my prayer that day — I was less touchy and able to calmly talk with James. I realized afterward that if I kept a soft heart toward God, it would result in me having a soft heart toward my husband. The reverse is also true: When I harden my heart toward my husband, I also harden my heart toward God. There is a correlation between my relationship with God and my relationship with others.
Our heart-health and our word-health are connected.
Today’s key verse, Proverbs 18:21, says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” What we say often returns back to us, either adding to our lives or subtracting from it. Our speech has consequences in marriage and in all our relationships.
The previous verse sheds more light on the power of words, “From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied” (Proverbs 18:20, NIV). When our words are truthful and gracious, we’re nourished by them. When they are hurtful and untrue, we starve our souls.
You and I can’t control the words of our spouses (or others close to us), but we can control the words that come out of our mouths. During casual, daily conversations, do we use a tone that’s kind? Will we use our words as weapons against others to retaliate when they step on our toes? Or will we use our words to heal and restore?
Thankfully, it’s possible to change the tongue’s bad habits by the power of the Holy Spirit.
If you have a history of snapping at your husband, family members, or friends in anger, you don’t have to live enslaved to outbursts. You don’t want to stuff your feelings, but you do want to learn how to communicate in a constructive — not destructive — way.
How can you tell the difference? Let’s say I want to tell my husband I was upset by the way he brushed off my last comment about his latest big purchase.
Constructive words: Honey, I am trying to be more responsible with money. But it didn’t feel like you were listening to my concerns. Is there a better time for us to talk? Can we come to an agreement about saving money?
Destructive words: I don’t know why I bother trying to reason with you. When I have an opinion, you just shut me down. You don’t care about how I view our finances. You make decisions all the time without considering my feelings.
Can you see how the words I choose set the stage for my husband’s response? Constructive words look for a solution. They seek to improve situations and promote growth. Keep in mind that constructive words can sometimes be negative. Many times you have to diagnose and talk about a problem honestly before you can fix it.
Destructive words act just the opposite. They seek to damage, discredit and destroy. They are always unfavorable and negative. There’s nothing redemptive about destructive words.
Our words matter in all our relationships, especially in marriage. May we speak respectfully and enjoy the choice fruits of a peaceful home.
Lord Jesus, forgive me for being quarrelsome at times. Help me seek peace and use my words in a constructive, affirming way with those closest to me. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit so I can exercise control with my words. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
And PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!
Why do I get angry?
Why am I emotional?
Or why do you think you aren’t emotional?
And…how do we keep calm in all situations?
What really stood out to me in this post are not only the scripture verses, but the author’s comments below.
“When our words are truthful and gracious, we’re nourished by them. When they are hurtful and untrue, we starve our souls.”
“I realized afterward that if I kept a soft heart toward God, it would result in me having a soft heart toward my husband. “
Wow – I didn’t catch that when I read it the first time – starve our souls. Oh that makes me want to cry. We all are crying out for love and yet, we find ourselves rarely giving it out ourselves.
I got an answer to one of my questions above at church today. I love when God does that.
Why have I been so emotional in my life? Because I think I was born a drama queen. I thrive on attention and since becoming a Christian, God has been trying to reign me in to be more calm, and steady. So why emotional? In all honestly…just selfishness. Caring more about my feelings than about anything or anyone else.
So…how to be calm and trust God?
Victory is found on our knees at the cross of Christ.
When we focus on Jesus and His power and His love and His sacrifice for us. We look to Jesus & Live…
When we look at Him and what He did and Who He is, we realize how grateful we truly are and we enjoy what we’ve been given.
Seeing what His sacrifice cost Him, makes it reasonable for us to be content in His plan for us and as He loves and forgives us, so we, in gratitude to what we’ve been give, love and forgive others too.
It truly is all about Jesus, and He thinks all about us!
Lynne said something similar to this a few months back, but it was a little different. I hope she can remember it.
“The One for All, and All for the One”
I am emotional, but I claim not to be. I am at odds with current definitions of being ’emotional’. The greatest example being LOVE. We think we ‘fall in love’ we think LOVE is something that happens to us and therefore, we are unable to control our responses.
I don’t believe that is scriptural. I believe LOVE is a set of intentional actions that build our relationship with the Lord and with others.
Jeremiah 15:19 “If you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman”
When I have feelings that I recognize are self-focused, I know I am not going to behave in manner that demonstrates love. So I work on controlling them.
I stay calm by remembering and thinking about the difficult times in my life that God used to bring me back to Him… rescuing me from what I realized was a self-prolonged exile. And, then I smile, and say “Thank you, Lord” and the anxious thoughts just disappear!
Very nice Elisa! I think of emotional as out of control, rather than under the control of the Holy Spirit.
That doesn’t mean you never cry, but it means that it’s within the realm of balance.
I can focus on something terrible that happened and within a minute I’m crying about it. Then I think, why am I thinking about this, it just makes me sad, so I think about something else that focuses on the good instead of the bad, and then…I’m back into balance.